10. You tried to fill up your car using 10,000 nickels.
9. The keno girl/guy married you for citizenship.
8. Rocco is frying eggs in the kitchen for the Santa fe dudes.
7. Because of the buffet you are so fat your shoes don’t fit.
6. Co workers think you are mad, but you are stone deaf from sitting in the front row.
5. Full color Tattoo of Dick Butkus on your booty.
4. Tried to give a stolen hotel robe as a Mothers Day present.
3. You are reading this on a Las Vegas half way house desk top.
2. You are broker than the Fannie May and her Mama.
1. Burchie came to your house and ruined the Happy Birthday song.