TOP Ten reasons, Tower of Power will not be Dancing with the Stars: By Al Carlos

10. Female professional dancers afraid of un-wanted pregnancies.

9. Male professional dancers afraid of un-wanted beat downs.

8. Producers could not take the liability should one of Docs suspenders fail during a Paso Doble.

7. Network brass has seen the Knock Yourself Out dance which immediately disqualified them.

6. The only time the band wore costumes was before they quit drinking and met Bill W.

5. In Oakland, a quick step is only used during shoplifting.

4. The old dude middle judge still player hates them for upstaging Tom Jones a few years ago.

3. Scores on Judges cards would be higher than fans credit scores.

2. If they could get millions of fans to call in, they would be in the R&R Hall of fame where they belong.

1. TOP and the Funny Home Video guy are the only two with real jobs.