Thursday, March 19, 2009

TOP Ten perks of being a female Horn Band fan: By Al Carlos

10. Many times cuter than male fans who have given up on being handsome working on looking distinguished.

9. Spouses are not afraid to let you go to a concert alone because they know the band members are not “All that” either..

8. You can dance anyway you want because there are no hard body teenage girls there to clown you, and if there were, you could beat them down.

7. Given up on romantic guys “Willing to learn” for someone stable who is, “Willing to earn”.

6. Band members invite you backstage for baked goods and financial advice.

5. Don’t have to worry about being hit on by male fans because they are usually drunk and forgot who they came with in the first place.

4. Most band members are happily married and there is no line around the block for the remaining bachelors.

3. The ability to get Carlos’ arcane and obdurate references.

2. Band members will autograph body parts while only rubber stamping male bald heads.

1. Literal band supporters.