TOP Ten reasons American horn bands don’t play Baghdad: By Al Carlos

10. Every time they play an Iranian County Fair, infidels eat the best animals.

9. Its wimpy smooth jazz town compared to Oakland.

8. Saddam’s ex wife insists on sitting in on goat bell.

7. Can’t tell the suicide bombers from tour bus drivers.

6. Possible life threatening accidents from flying leather slippers.

5. Too many turbans in the crowd absorb the high end of the sound and drive the sound guy to the hookah pipe.

4. They refuse to merchandise floor length tour robes.

3. Former Catholics are afraid because all of the women look like Nuns.

2. Adoplo might begin telling the roadies to “Have her scrubbed and sent to my tent”.

1. Loud horns can cause Yaks and Camels to urinate indiscriminately.